I don’t have a great deal of time to write tonight. I need to get to bed. I have to go with DH to a Dr appt in the Big Town an hour away and it’s at 8:30am. (That’s 5 hours from right now).

He had been hospitalized for chest pains in October. They ruled out his heart by doing several tests and a cath. They thought it might be his gallbladder as it can have pains all over the body as poisons back up. But they did an ultrasound and his gallbladder was fine… however.. they found a spot on one kidney. It alarmed them enough that they set up a CT scan.  Since he did not want to wait on the hospital to arrange it, the cardio Dr set him up to have it done at his office. Well, they got the results back from the CT scan a few days ago and said there was a 3inch diameter spot on one kidney and they were going to call a speicalist.  Apparently an appt was set up for him that no one informed him of,  and he got a call from the Urologist office reprimanding him for missing it.  So he called the cardiologist and asked and they discoverd he’d never been told.  The nurse who had looked at the CT scan results was quite upset and called and set up another appt for ths morning and said he HAD to make this one. He needed to see that dr ASAP.  …

So, now we’re worried silly over what they’re going to tell us. I researched it, and I think the next step is an MRI. But the Urologist, may forego that and demand a surgery immediately. Who knows. THANK GOD we have health insurance.  These bills are going to take our tax refund, but at least we’ll be able to pay them. Not like when he had the heart attack and we had to file bankruptcy. I am still heartbroken about that (pardon the pun).

So, those of you who read this and believe, please say a little prayer for my husband and my family. Thank you.  I’ll post and update on his diagnosis when I get a chance.

First of all, I can tell you that working 7pm-3am 5 days a week and being used to being in bed by 5am and sleeping til after noon… makes you feel like CRAP when you get up at 7:30 and then drive all over two counties and then go back to work at 7pm that night til 3am… UGH  I am STILL recovering!

Anyway, so here’s what happened when I attempted to met Friend for lunch.

I had emailed him several times. Once overnight then two or three followups in the morning. After I took DH to work, I was too excited to go to sleep. I was afraid I’d sleep through the alarm. So, I spent some extra time with shower and hair and clothes etc, then headed out.  Friend never did reply to any of my emails. I didn’t want to call because if he were at work, then he’d have gotten the emails or was too busy to be interrupted by a call.. and if he weren’t at work, then his wife might be with him and if you remember she is a crazy jealous B****.  So, I sent a harmless text asking if he was OK.  He replied a few minutes later with “Yes, I am alright.”  Well, at that point I figured he had some really good reason to not have emailed.

So, I went to my sister’s coffee shop a little before the lunch rush arrived and she sat with me for a while and got me a bowl of chicken and dumplings and a caramel latte.. then our brother came in and joined us. He’s been laid off from a job he had for 11 years and is on unemployment in his 50s. So, we all talked for a while, then Brother went to use Sis’s computer to check on some stuff.

About that time, I got a text from Friend saying he just got to work and just got the emails and wished I’d called. I texted that I didn’t want to call. He explained that he had a Dr appt that morning and his blood pressure was so high the Dr sent him to the hospital where they “shocked him” he said and got two pills. Then he went on to work, but had to work through lunch because he had to be back to the hospital at 3 to have an ultrasound on his kidneys done. He has tumors on his kidneys and they’re making his health very fragile. One tumor has been growing and they said they will eventually have to take that kidney. So they are waiting as long as they can since two is always better than 1.

So of course I was immediately worried about him. I am so scared that after having lost him for 14 years that I will lose him forever after finally getting reunited with my first and true love.

So anyway, I had taken my laptop and Sis has free wifi at her shop, so I checked email and sent him one about how I was worried. He said not to worry and that he really wished he could have seen me and hated that he got sick. Well, after a couple hours hanging out there, Brother had to go and so did I.

I missed seeing him, but it’s ok.  We’ve arranged to meet for lunch next Tuesday. It will be better anyway since I’ve taken Monday night off work to go to 6 and 10’s Christmas program at school.  So I can get some sleep Monday night, take DH to work Tue morning and then head on to my hometown and meet him whenever he can. Hopefully, I will remember to make chicken and dumplings and take a big Tupperware container of that for us both. It’s his favorite food.

So.. that’s what’s happening here.

Today was 12’s presentation for her Gifted class at school. I had to get up and take DH to work after he came home for lunch to give me the van, then an hour later, 12 got home followed by 6 and 10. I had to pick up 16 at school after choir practice and take her and 12 to the middle school across town to set up the display.  Yes, I left 6 and 10 there by themselves. They often take off for hours at a time to a friend’s house. I figured they’d be ok at home. I told them to lock the door and all that.  We got to the middle school took her stuff in and found out the basketball team would not give up the gym til 5pm. I had to leave 16 and 12 there with the stuff, then go get DH from work at 5. Well he was 20 minutes late getting out. Then he took me home since I had to work tonight and then he went on to the middle school to finish getting set up and to be there for the presentation.  So, I walk up to the front door and I could smell the evidence. Something had burnt. They’re not to cook when an adult isn’t there to watch. Come to find out, 6 decided she could cook ramen noodles herself, so she never asked 10 (who was mesmerised by the TV and oblivious to everything). She put the noodles in the bowl forgot to add water and put it into the microwave for who knows how long. Finally one of them noticed the smoke and stopped it before it was a tragedy. My vintage green Tupperware bowl now has a big hole in the bottom of it with black bits of plastic hanging off.  That was such a close one! OMG.  I told them they can never be left alone again. Both are pretty torn up about it and no how serious it was.  Neither one tried to hide anything.

I managed to get dinner made and got to work, then the family got home. Seems 12’s display went over well. It wasn’t as fancy as most, but the adults liked her costume and people loved the tortilla chips she’d made. (btw we will be toasting our own tortilla chips from now on, no more bags of them).  She had taken off to get food for her best friend and left her booth for like 15 minutes so people were asking 16 about the stuff, but of course she was clueless.  Overall 12 did well apparently.

Now the bad stuff.. DH has a CT scan on his kidneys tomorrow. They had found “something” on his kidneys when they did the ultrasound on his gall bladder in the hospital. Well, after 16 went out running all over the damn county Fri night with her friends and all the running we’ve done all over town for the kids play DH having to go to his mother’s house (an hour away) to feed her animals (Yes she’s in NJ again – OMG )  … we now have 1/4 tank of gas and the CT scan place is in the BigTown an hour away. We have zero money. I gave my last bit of cash to the girls for lunches and we’re overdrawn $148.  I know I just got paid.. it’s gone. And then some.  Oh, and DH has to go back to his mommy’s to feed her animals twice more this week. He doesn’t get paid til Fri night at 10:30pm-ish (direct deposit).  So,.. what do we do?  Well, looks like we get to ask 12 if we can borrow from her savings account AGAIN!  Hell I still OWE her $40 from last week when I had to borrow!  THIS HAS TO STOP!!!

MIL had given DH $60 to feed her animals. He blew it all on fast food. ALL OF IT in like 2 days.  But he’s not the only one. Last Thursday (before I even got paid) we had to go to BigTown to see his Cardiologist, but we had no spending money.  Instead of going and coming straight back home, I decided to check the balance on my credit card. A payment had gone thru and they raised my credit limit…  so we got stuff we didn’t need and then bought dinner out for everyone instead of cooking at home or getting groceries.  I kept telling DH we should at least use the card at a place that we could get groceries and maybe a deli box of chicken or something, but no he had his heart set on Long Johns.  Well, I didn’t have enough on the card to get the big meal, so I got an 8 piece for like $17 and heated up a can of corn at home.  SIGH  I know I need to stick to my guns better.  But I guess I keep hoping he’ll like magically grow up and be a responsible man who helps me be a parent and help run the house…  I’m just an idiot sometimes.

Ok, so when do we get the money from 12? She has to go to school in the morning. The money is in her bank savings account. Do we make her late to school just to bum money off of her? SIGH.  Probably.

As I said, this just has to stop….  oh and by the way, our dryer broke.  Yeah. Life sucks.