Hello again to those of you who actually read this blog! I am sorry I’ve been away so much.  Packing and moving and unpacking and trying a new sleep/awake schedule has made blogging pretty low on my list of daily things to do anymore.

I did however have to tell the tale of what’s happened so far today.. and it’s not even 9am yet.

I was talking to a co worker last night about how this morning was going to be busy, but should all go smoothly enough… well the problem was it all hinged on one thing – the bank’s computers. Today is 16’s Chorus Festival.  Her dress was taken to the dry cleaners Tuesday and we told them we’d get it Fri morning when they open at 7:30. The plan was this:  DH was to wake up 12 and 16, get 12 off to school on the bus. Then 16 was to get 6 and 11(she had a birthday) up and ready for school while DH put gas in the van and went back to the old trailer to find 16’s shoes for chorus because she forgot all about the shoes until last night. (We STILL haven’t gotten all our crap out of that trailer! It makes me nuts). Then he was to come back with shoes, get girls, take 6 and 11 to school, then take 16 to get her dress and pay for it.  Then 16 was going to take DH to work and drive the van on to school where she could change into the dress and shoes in time to do her door-holding task as the other schools arrived to compete.  This was all contingent upon my paycheck direct deposit going through and us being able to access it, because unfortunately even after the huge tax refund came and went, we’re back to living paycheck to paycheck.

So, here’s what really happened. At 11pm last night I checked the credit union site and my direct deposit was there, but the available credit was still zero. I kept checking it, but by the time I got off work and went to bed at 3:30am, it wasn’t available.  Well, when I woke up, DH was gone and 16 was doing a poor job of getting the kids out of bed.  DH had to yell at them when he got back. He also told me the gas station declined the debit card and his card wouldn’t work in our ATM. So he took my card and left again. The van must have been on fumes by then. 16 got the kids ready and after waiting and stressing on DH, she decided to take them to the bus stop and make sure they got on the bus ok.  (There’s been some morning drama at the bus stop with our 6 yr old, so we’ve been taking them instead of riding the bus normally).  So, anyway, DH got back and said the ATM wouldn’t give him any money.  So I went into Mom Mode. I got up and got dressed. When 16 got back, I got her phone and called the cleaners and asked if we could get the dress and pay for it when the bank opened, they said it would be OK.  16 wore black Crocs since she was supposed to wear comfy shoes to do door holding duty anyway. Then I took them both in the car which has plenty of gas – it just is missing lights and has expired tags.  I took DH to work, then went to the cleaners, got the dress, took 16 and dress to the performing arts center at the school and watched her walk into the building in the rain with horrible wet hair… praying she could borrow a hair brush from someone.  And now I’m back home.  The bank opens in a couple minutes and then even if the ATM doesn’t let me access my money, the teller will. Then I can put minutes on the phones, pay the cleaners, get cash for gas, come back and get the van, drive it to the gas station down the street and fill up the tank, drive to the old trailer and find 16’s black pumps – then text 16 to tell her I have the shoes and where to meet me outside the school…  then I go back to bed and try to get more sleep since I have now only had 3 hours of sleep.  Oh,… and to top it all off, my Mother in law is coming for dinner tonight.

Someone shoot me.

A co-worker asked me yesterday if I would mind switching nights with her since she needed off Sat night. The night she wanted to switch was tonight. I didn’t have any real plans, so I said OK.

So, today has been my odd day off in the middle of the week, and it happened to be on Family Dinner NIght or FDN. This is the day of the week and my MIL comes over for dinner and traditionally we play games or watch a movie together before she goes home. FDN used to be at her house til we seriously outnumbered her.

Our oven isn’t working at the moment, but DH wanted spinach lasagna, so I set my alarm for noon. I didn’t actually get out of bed til 2, mostly because that was when MIL pulled into the driveway. The kids were due home at 3:30-4 and DH got off work at 5pm. So, I got up and ready and proceeded to get dinner ready. I boiled the noodles, made the meat sauce got the cheese and spinach ready and layered it all in the Crock Pot, and turned it on High. My CrockPot is amazing on High.  MIL and FIL gave me a big fancy stainless steel one last Christmas, but it’s High setting is barely as good as the low setting on my old one. So, I hardly ever use the big one.  Then as the kids got home, I got them to doing their dishes they hadn’t done the night before.  We never can seem to get dishes done AFTER dinner.  We always have to have them come wash dishes so stuff is clean to MAKE dinner.  We’re so dysfunctional.

By the time DH got home at 5:30 (after stopping to get his mother beer) we got veggies nuked in the microwave and got the kitchen table cleared off and actually all sat down to eat dinner together at the table.  That was nice. We used to do it every night when I only worked part time or was on day shift at the store.  The lasagna was basically a soup because I’d had to cook the noodles before putting it all in the crock pot, but it allowed it to at least all be done in the 2 hours it cooked in there. If I’d used hard dry noodles, it would have taken at least 5 hours on high or 8 on low. It was still really good though, and only a few comments were said about the spinach.  Even the kids who dont like spinach (like me) like it in lasagna.

After dinner, we went to the living room which 10 hadn’t quite cleaned up from  the hurricane she created last night.  That child can sure make a mess by not really trying too hard.  So she cleaned it up really quick and we all sat around the otoman and got out Boggle and paper and pens.  It’s a game my husband could seriously win tournaments at if they had them.  He got his bachelor’s degree in English and has always been good with words and spelling.  I’m not stupid, and love word games as well, but I’ve only beat him maybe 5 times total in a one-on-one Boggle Duel.  His mother gets closer scores to beating him than I do when we all play. Still, tonight he won both games, even after giving him the handicap of only getting to have 5-letter words and larger.

Then we decided to play Munchkin, which is a card game. It’s a parody of role playing games like WoW and D&D. It’s cute, but I feel it lasts too long. It was time for dessert, but we discovered that even though there were three ice cream containers in the freezer, they each had maybe a spoonful in them. So, I let them play Munchkin while I ran to the store for sodas and dessert. I got a peach pie, two kinds of ice cream and soda for us and the kids. We only drink diet, though for me it’s because I prefer the taste, … it sure doesn’t make me lose weight LOL.  Then I got out my cool spiffy camera and used it to take videos of them playing. We all had a great time. Even 6 amused herself by taking 16’s MP3 player and jamming to the tunes while dancing all over the house. It was fun. I hope I get put on day shift, so evenings like this can happen more often.

I’m currently trying to figure out how to edit the movies I took.  One was really long and there’s a good stopping place so I can upload it to You Tube, but Windows Movie Maker doesn’t like .MOV files, and it’s difficult to find anything that will convert them.  Still working on that.

As for my room. I managed to get one more box of stuff sorted. Now that big stack that had been in front of my closet is down to just the pink plastic tote thing. I’ll sort it all out tomorrow. Either later tonight/morning I’ll put a bunch of the stack of stuff in the kitchen into the crates, or I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ve really got to finish some of these projects. NO one else in the house is even pitching in or asking if they can help with anything. But of course I’m used to that. As long as I get to vent and rant to you all on here, I usually feel much better afterwards

I am really hoping I can get a lot of work done on it, and maybe even find another table to replace the one in here now that’s just not working.  Heck, I might see if we have some plywood scraps, but some 4×4’s cut to size for legs and build my own table. That would be pretty cool actually.  I promise, when it’s done, I will post pics.  Until next time…

WARNING This one is really really long.  Sorry!!

While my last post is dated the 6th, I actually wrote it the night of the 5th and early morning on the 6th. As you can see in some of the pics I posted, the time was around 4am. Well, I stayed up and got my older two kids up for school, then I was in bed by 5:30am.  I wanted to get as much sleep as I could since the plan was for DH to come home on his lunch break, and we’d go get the loan we were renewing. At 6:45am the alarm went off to get DH up and he got the younger two girls up for school. Just after they’d left to walk to the bus stop, he woke me up telling me I needed to take him to the hospital…

I’m going to interrupt my story here with a little history. In January 2007, my DH was an asst manager at a video store. I was working as the dept manager at Kmart. On this fateful day in January, I had the day off from work, and had taken DH to work because I needed to pay bills and run errands which I’d finished up early in the day. It was designated Family Dinner Night, so my MIL was at the house, since she would often come over early to do her laundry here and use our computer. He was due to get off work at 5pm, but I got a strange call from him around 4pm saying he was feeling really bad and to please come get him.  This is where I do my first THANK GOD I had my phone, it was charged and had minutes on it (it’s a prepaid). I know my DH, and this was totally out of the norm for him. So I knew it must be pretty serious.  My next THANK GOD he hadn’t driven to work that day because he’d have tried to drive himself home..  So, I asked his mother to watch the kids because THANK GOD, she was already there, so I didn’t have to worry about them. I drove quickly to the video store which is only maybe 5 minutes from here. When I walked into the store, one of the girls who works there was helping a customer because THANK GOD she had decided to just come in and hang out and pick up a movie on her DAY OFF.  So she was able to watch the store. DH was actually sitting in the floor behind the counter, and looked really bad. I’d never seen him like that in my life. I helped him to his feet and got him in the van and took off for the hospital. He could barely stand or walk, he was having trouble breathing, was throwing up, he said his jaw felt like it was breaking and his forearms were on fire. I was afraid I knew the answer, but thought… not my DH, he’s only 36!  So, I sped off and got him to the ER which was just down the road THANK GOD from the video store. As soon as I got him through the doors of the ER, they took one look at him and he quickly told them his symptoms – they yelled for a wheelchair, and were as quick as lightning getting his bracelet on him as he was wheeled to the back.  They got his shirt off, got monitors on him, IVs stuck in, quickly took a medical history. The room was packed with nurses and techs. Then, the Dr walked in, took one look at the heart monitor, and said “You’re having a heart attack”.  I almost passed out. I will never forget that moment for my whole life. They tried a clot buster drug to get him stablized, but it didn’t work. They had to fly him to the heart hospital an hour away by helicopter. I simply could not drive fast enough.  I drove home as fast as I could, ran in and got a bag of clothes for me and him and told his Mom what was happening, and she looked as shaken as I was, but she promised to stay with the kids until someone could come take over. I felt bad leaving her, but I had to be with him. So, off I drove like a bat out of hell. By now it was dark, and I didn’t know much about the hospital, just basically where it was. While I was driving,  I called my boss and told him what was going on and how I’d not be in to work til further notice.  I got to the hospital, and went to the ER desk and asked where he was, and the girl gave me a room number and basic directions how to get there. I relaxed a little, figuring if he was in a room, he must be doing better than if he were still in the ER.  So, I follow the directions and signs, with complete tunnel vision. I didn’t see anything around me but that hallway and the signs to where I was going. So I get to the ward where his room number was, and the doors to the area are locked and only accessible by people with some badge. I start crying, not knowing what to do, basically starting a panic attack. Someone saw me and asked what and who I was looking for and I told them, and they opened the door for me with their badge.  So, I run in and look around for his room number, find it and find his clothes neatly folded on the counter… and no DH and no bed.  I immediately start freaking out. I know I must have been a sight. A nurse calm,ed me down and asked who I was etc.  I explained it all, and she said the Advocates should have taken care of me, and I should have never had to go through that.  Well, tell that to the girl at the ER deck who told me to go to his room…  well, anyway, a nurse led me to a waiting room where I talked to an advocate. They told me he was in the cath lab, and they would let me know when the Dr was ready to talk to me. The rest is kind of a blur… I know it seemed like it took forever. My MIL showed up at the waiting room and sat with me for a while. Her husband had come to watch the kids so she could come. Meanwhile I made calls to my family asking for their prayers. When the Dr finally came out, he told us that DH had 100% blockage in one artery, which was the one that wraps around the heart and actually regulates the rhythm thus causing the heart attack. They had to put a stent in that one, which finally stopped the attack. However, before they could do that, DH actually died on the table, and they had to shock him back with the defibrulators. So if any of those things that allowed me to get him to that hospital as quickly as I did and that helicopter to get him to the heart hospital when they did had not worked out like they did… he’d have died at age 36.  He still had 90% blockage in another, but he was in no shape for another stent yet. But having a 90% blocked artery was dangerous, so they  kept the cath tub in place and put him in ICU to recover from the attack. He was in ICU for a week and then moved to a Chest pain center room for 3 more days. I was right by his side almost the whole time. My sister took 3 of the kids and MIL took the ornery one so I didn’t have to worry about the kids. I went home every 2 or 3 days and got new clothes and snacks and books. I got very organized during that week.  I took excellent notes about the medications, and procedures, and everything. I got to know the hospital pretty well, and was even invited to a Dr’s pizza party. That was cool, though I really wanted the pork roast the cafeteria was serving! LOL.  A few weeks later he ended up getting the second stent put in after a few scares of angina, and he had to take nitro tabs quite often. After that second stent was in though, he was back to his old self.. even better. He went to sleep labs and got a CPAP machine after being diagnosed with Sleep Apnea which the Dr said also greatly contributed for YEARS to his heart disease.  We completely changed our diet, I got an American Heart Association cookbook. I started reading labels… wow. That was an eye opener. Now I refuse to buy anything if I can’t read the label and if the cholesterol is too high or it has a lot of sodium, I don’t get it. He’s on two high blood pressure meds, blood thinner, cholesterol meds, asprin, and a “good” cholesterol booster med. The first year he did well. He quit the high stress job, ended up being a blessing since now he has a great position where he had worked before for 14 years and he enjoys it mostly. He was eating well, had tons of salads, etc.  But lately he’d been slacking off, never ever exercised, sat around all day and ate 2nds and 3rds of dinner every night.  Even low fat, low sodium food is not good if you have 3 helpings.  He’d gained quite a bit of weight back too.

So,.. that kind of brings us to Monday morning, October 6th, 2008. He woke me up and said he had to go to the hospital. He was having trouble catching his breath and was throwing up a little, was shakey all over and he said his left arm was numb. I was up and out of bed and dressed in no time. Thank fully the kids were already gone. I got him to the ER, and sat him down. He wasn’t nearly as bad as the time he’d been there with the heart attack, but I never knew when it might turn worse suddenly. They remembered him as the guy that flew to the big hospital by helicopter.  Yes this is a small town. Not many people do that I guess. Got him all hooked up. His respiration monitor was all over the place, but his heart monitor looked fine.  After watching them for 10 days before, I could read them pretty well. I immediately stopped worrying that it was a heart attack, but he was still shaking and throwing up and looking bad. So, the doc decided to send him to the heart hospital by ambulance in case they decided to do the catheter to look around anyway.

So, they took him toward the hospital, and I had a plan. I was going to call the loan company and see if I could get it done quickly since I needed the money for gas and food at the hospital, and then I’d grab clothes and put minutes on my phone and take off to see him. That’s when things started to fall apart.  It’s almost laughable to think back on how that day went.  Ok, first of all remember, I work nights. I had woken up at 5pm on Sunday afernoon, worked all Sun night, gotten about maybe 30 minutes of real sleep Mon morning and then was on the go again. Thankfully, I’d gotten a lot of sleep Sunday, so I had a few good hours left in me. Well, I called the loan company on my way to the house, and told them the situation, but they were sympathetic but could not give me the loan since we both had to sign it.  I checked my wallet, I had 8 bucks, and less than a quarter tank of gas. Then, I got a phone call as I was driving home. It was the elementary school. They said 10 had nits and I needed to come get her and they were going to check 6. LICE. OMG I HATE LICE.  Having kids in a trailer park FULL to overflowing with kids – it is impossible to go a whole year without one of them getting it, and if we don’t catch it, then it spreads through them all. So, now I had to go pick them up, meanwhile they were driving my sick DH to the heart hospital an hour away… I called my MIL but got her machine, and her cell phone gave me voice mail. I told her what was going on and asked if she could watch the kids. She still hadn’t called back after I picked them up. So, I decided I would pull 16 out of school to watch them while I was gone. Then I remembered 16 owed me money for buying her cell phone and she had her bankbook with her. So we stopped at her bank and she got out all she had which was $18. Then I took her and the little ones home, grabbed a bag of DH’s clothes, got myself into something more comfy, grabbed my MP3 player, laptop and took off. I actually remembered I had a little money on a credit card and that was able to get me $20 in gas, so I had about $20 to eat on. I got to the hospital, and discovered in the last year and a half they had finally finished that addition they had been building which was the new main Chest Pain center. (The hospital is huge and has a Cancer center and Children’s hospital etc. so now they had a brand new Cardiovascular Pulmonary Center. Awesome. It took a little searching to find him, but I did. He was in a “holding” room awaiting the catheterization. We were in there for a few hours. His symptoms were pretty much gone, but then he was asleep most of the time on morphine, phenergan, etc. He did keep acting like his chest was hurting though.

While we were there waiting, I got a phone call. It was the middle school, saying 12 had lice and had to be picked up (thank elementary school for calling and ratting her out jeeze) They refused to send her home on the bus. I tried to explain to the school nurse that 12’s father had just been rushed to the hospital an hour away and I was by his side. She just kept telling me someone had to get 12. There’s probably a reason this nurse didn’t get a job in a hospital. Bitch.  Anyway, I suddenly remembered the friend who had taken me to get my van when it was in the shop.  He’s unemployed and seems to never have anything to do, so I told the nurse I’d make it happen, then called 16 and told her to find the friend’s number and call him and see if he could do it, then call the school and tell them who would be getting 12 so they would release her to him .  THANK GOD he agreed, and that crisis was averted. Around that time, MIL had gotten my message and called to tell me she had to work that night and all day Tuesday so could not watch the kids or come sit with DH.

Eventually, they took DH for the cath and put me in a consultation room. that was much more comfortable. It even had a complimentary computer on the web. so was able to check email, send out some emails letting people know what was going on, etc.  The Dr came in and let me know there were a few arteries with a little blockage, but nothing was more than 50%, and they don’t act on anything less than 70% blocked.  But basically he was saying his heart looked fine. So they were going to do an ultrasound on his gallbladder and do an echocardiogram. Then eventually moved him to a teeny tiny room in the Chest Pain center where apparently people don’t normally stay overnight. They usually come in, recover, see the Dr and leave.  So, yeah it was small and cramped. DH was pretty much asleep ALL day from the time he left our local hospital til they came to get him for the gallbladder ultrasound. When he came back from that around 9pm, he was awake.  I however was going on about 30 hours without sleep.  And let me tell you. $20 something bucks does not last long in a hospital. I hadn’t eaten in forever, so I ended up getting breakfast lunch and dinner there plus late night snacks. I simply could not get any rest in that horrid recliner they have for guests. It just doesn’t recline far enough. I know, this isn’t about me.. but it was definitely a very stressful day. No loan, so no idea if rent check and grocery check were going to bounce. Not able to pay the cable bill on time, so I knew it was going to end up getting cut off, had to deal with the kids being out of school and home alone with just 16 to watch them. But we both had phones with free mobile to mobile. so 16 and I kept in touch and she kept things running here. She went through their hair, but I’d have to buy lice shampoo and get them nit free and in to see a Dr before the kids could go back to school.  I was torn, and I probably would have gone home Monday night except that I hadn’t slept and had trouble walking much less driving an hour. So, I had to stay. I did get about 2 hours of sleep between midnight and 2, and then got another couple hours from 10am til noon on Tuesday.  I slept while they took him down for the echocardiogram.  Then we waited. A friend of ours took a crockpot of chili and a bunch of corn bread muffins to the girls at home, so they had lunch, and she brought me some too, but it was about the time for DH to be released.  I still made time to eat most of it. She brought me a thermos of coffee too, which was a great help.

We did finally hear from a nurse practitioner who worked with the cardiologist. The gallbladder screening looked fine and his echo didn’t show anything out of the ordinary except a little weakened from where he’d had a heart attack last year. They did see one thing on the gallbladder one though, on his kidney. A spot was showing up brighter than normal for a kidney, so they think there might be a cyst.  So, he has to go in for a CT scan on that soon.  They decided the chest pain and nausea and overall bad feeling he’ thought was a heart attack was either an ulcer or acid relux.  Both of which my father had, in fact he died of acid reflux (before they had the little purple pill to treat it). So that didn’t sound great, but it made sense with the way his body cannot deal with stress.

So, now he’s very sore in the groin where they did the cath tube entry point. We got all the kids treated and got one of them seen by a Dr and cleared for school tomorrow.  She has a chorus concert so we decided she’d be done first. I finished looking over the other two, but by then it was too late for me to take them to the clinic and DH refused since he can’t drive for a few days and having 16 drive makes him have panic attacks and tense up everything that hurts. So, now we’ll… ok *I*’ll have to take 6 and 12 to the clinic to get cleared and take them on to school afterwards in the morning… huh it’s already 5:45am. SIGH. time to get 16 out of bed and off to the bus stop.

We did get the loan this morning by the way. They had turned off the internet, but I’d called in to work for Mon and Tues anyway, but we had just enough money to cover the overdrawn amount and have enough left in the bank to cover a debit card payment to get it turned back on, so I was able to work tonight.  I still haven’t gotten much sleep. And with having to take 6 and 12 to the clinic I don’t see it happening today either.  I think I might just forget trying to get them into school tomorrow(today) and explain in their excuse that we were at the hospital for the first 2 days they were out of school, so we were unable to treat them on time. And if they get an unexcused absence then so be it.  It’s not the end of the world, and I don’t think they’ll put us in jail over it. Though nothing would surprise me.

DH did realize Monday is a bank holiday so instead of his check coming in at 11pm on Friday, it will actually get deposited Thursday night instead. So if the rent check goes through today (Thursday), the paycheck will cover it.  So no more overdraft fees and nothing bounces. WOOHOO.

Whew… what a week! It’s been amazingly rough and hectic, but through it all, we all had each other and I was right by DH’s side. I knew it was where I needed to be.

I’ve been getting some comments. WOOHOO!  I love that! I think it’s cool people read this and think it’s interesting enough to come back and read more or even comment.  Well, it might just be like 2 people. But I appreciate those two people!

Now, I’m going to drag 16 out of bed and go get some sleep. I hope you all have a great day, I hope you stop and take time to remember that no matter how bad it is, it could be a lot worse. Don’t take those loved ones for granted.