The guy who said he’d buy our trailer for $300 down and then another $500 over 5 months has backed out because the landlord is an asshole.  So, after a few days of discussion DH and I decided to give it away.

I was sick today, some stomach bug or something but deinitely needed to be near a working bathroom all day (blech) and so couldn’t go work on cleaning out the old trailer like I’d planned. I decided to send 16 and her boyfriend over there to get as much done as they could. She said she got the living room and kitchen all clean, but didn’t touch the bedrooms which are what needed it the most of course.  While she was there I texted her to ask the neighbor who had backed out of buying if he would take the place for free.  We just asked that he’d pay April’s rent and give us one more week to get it all cleaned out and haul off the junk.  He said he’d mull it over and get back to me… he never called.

So, I put it on Freecycle.. or tried.  The ad never posted. I have no idea why.  So after a few hours I posted a short one and then sent the moderators an email asking why it was not approved and yes I really was giving away a 2 bedroom, 1 bath home.  Well, the co-mod wrote back and said she didn’t know why it was never approved, but now that she’d read about the place, she was interested in it for her adult kid who was paying too much for rent.  So I sent a very detailed email listing the stuff wrong with it and all the good stuff as well. It’s in an IDEAL location, (well other than the asshole landlord), and that helps a lot.  I mean hell, put about $5000 into the place and you could make it look like it was on HGTV. I know I could do it with that much anyway. heh. Well, she’s not replied either.  Maybe tomorrow will be a better day to give away a house.

Oh, and a couple days ago, DH had mentioned there was an email for him at work about bonuses and how to check what his would be etc.  He was set to get $3400…  but today he came home and said his store didn’t meat the goal to get hte bonus.  DAMN.  That money could have changed our lives.  It would have paid off his old medical bills and gotten us out of cash advances and right where we need to be.. a clean slate.  But no… we’re still a year behind on Dr bills and almost 2 months behind on electric.  I’m sick of having no money and  being so damn far behind.  I knew my ideas on money were really changing the last couple of times DH and I went to eat lunch together, I felt guilty. I know we need to pay these bills and get them off our backs. I’d rather have a PB&J sandwich and send the $20 we’d spend on lunch out to a Dr or save for his medication.

Hello again to those of you who actually read this blog! I am sorry I’ve been away so much.  Packing and moving and unpacking and trying a new sleep/awake schedule has made blogging pretty low on my list of daily things to do anymore.

I did however have to tell the tale of what’s happened so far today.. and it’s not even 9am yet.

I was talking to a co worker last night about how this morning was going to be busy, but should all go smoothly enough… well the problem was it all hinged on one thing – the bank’s computers. Today is 16’s Chorus Festival.  Her dress was taken to the dry cleaners Tuesday and we told them we’d get it Fri morning when they open at 7:30. The plan was this:  DH was to wake up 12 and 16, get 12 off to school on the bus. Then 16 was to get 6 and 11(she had a birthday) up and ready for school while DH put gas in the van and went back to the old trailer to find 16’s shoes for chorus because she forgot all about the shoes until last night. (We STILL haven’t gotten all our crap out of that trailer! It makes me nuts). Then he was to come back with shoes, get girls, take 6 and 11 to school, then take 16 to get her dress and pay for it.  Then 16 was going to take DH to work and drive the van on to school where she could change into the dress and shoes in time to do her door-holding task as the other schools arrived to compete.  This was all contingent upon my paycheck direct deposit going through and us being able to access it, because unfortunately even after the huge tax refund came and went, we’re back to living paycheck to paycheck.

So, here’s what really happened. At 11pm last night I checked the credit union site and my direct deposit was there, but the available credit was still zero. I kept checking it, but by the time I got off work and went to bed at 3:30am, it wasn’t available.  Well, when I woke up, DH was gone and 16 was doing a poor job of getting the kids out of bed.  DH had to yell at them when he got back. He also told me the gas station declined the debit card and his card wouldn’t work in our ATM. So he took my card and left again. The van must have been on fumes by then. 16 got the kids ready and after waiting and stressing on DH, she decided to take them to the bus stop and make sure they got on the bus ok.  (There’s been some morning drama at the bus stop with our 6 yr old, so we’ve been taking them instead of riding the bus normally).  So, anyway, DH got back and said the ATM wouldn’t give him any money.  So I went into Mom Mode. I got up and got dressed. When 16 got back, I got her phone and called the cleaners and asked if we could get the dress and pay for it when the bank opened, they said it would be OK.  16 wore black Crocs since she was supposed to wear comfy shoes to do door holding duty anyway. Then I took them both in the car which has plenty of gas – it just is missing lights and has expired tags.  I took DH to work, then went to the cleaners, got the dress, took 16 and dress to the performing arts center at the school and watched her walk into the building in the rain with horrible wet hair… praying she could borrow a hair brush from someone.  And now I’m back home.  The bank opens in a couple minutes and then even if the ATM doesn’t let me access my money, the teller will. Then I can put minutes on the phones, pay the cleaners, get cash for gas, come back and get the van, drive it to the gas station down the street and fill up the tank, drive to the old trailer and find 16’s black pumps – then text 16 to tell her I have the shoes and where to meet me outside the school…  then I go back to bed and try to get more sleep since I have now only had 3 hours of sleep.  Oh,… and to top it all off, my Mother in law is coming for dinner tonight.

Someone shoot me.

Ok, first of all, a few new things.  DH did indeed call the credit card company back which amazed me because he HATES talking on the phone.  But I had explained to him that we could NOT afford to make a $280 payment to that card, and that the website said the minimum was $105.  So he called and cancelled the 280 pmt and set one up for 105. Of course they had to charge a fee of $11.95 to set up the pmt…  right cause it actually costs them that much money.  Whatever. At least all the credit cards and shopping charge accounts will be paid current by Tuesday.

About the therapy,…  well after an altercation between 12 and me that resulted me in actually throwing something at her (not to hit her just to scare her – she’d been literally punching 10 and ran when I got close enough) and I ended up breaking the glass in the frame of my favorite picture – I told DH the child had to medicated or I did, and probably both of us.  I also told him he needed to find me a Dr and make me an appt cause I would not do it myself.  So when 12’s therapist appt came up, he went in with her and they talked about everything that’s been going on and how therapy is NOT working though we’re paying out the ass for it (or will whenever I get around to paying these medical bills piling up argh) and how she needs to be on something.  The therapist had recommended a light dose of Zoloft, but we read it can cause suicidal thoughts in children.  She said she’d never seen it in any of her patients and she has prescribed it to 7 yr olds (can you imagine??) … so we just have to set up a Dr appt for 12 with her pediatrician to do blood tests to make sure she’s healthy enough to take the meds. ….  then…

He talked to the therapist about me.  Seems they had already decided I needed help (the shoe thowing incident didn’t help my case any) and since this therapist already knew about the history with 12, said she could take me in on Friday. I am NOT going to her!  I cannot get DH to understand I can’t talk to this woman.  I was talking about it at work in the chatroom and oddly enough a lot of them have been in therapy and said it’s imperative that I find someone I’m comfortable talking to.  I don’t like this woman. It bothers me enough that 12 talks to her.  I am NOT going to her.  But I have no idea how to find someone else…

I was going to go see Friend today just to talk things out and use him as a therapist, since that’s what friends are for..  but he’s been throwing up since Monday and finally texted me to tell me this morning, after I’d already planned to drive there and everything.  But he was sick, so I guess it’s excused.  At least I didn’t go.  I have not slept since 3pm on Wednesday, it is now 9am on Thursday.  I have to pay 2 cash advances and renew them, pay the electric bill and water bill before they come to collect in person and charge the trip fee, and then deposit money back into the bank account to cover stuff that might go through today.  DH’s paycheck should get deposited tonight since Monday is a holiday, but I never know.  I couldn’t sleep after my shift this morning, and now I’m so out of it I can barely see the keys. I guess I’d better try to get a nap before going to pay bills…  I just KNOW the guy will come to collect the electric bill money today. Mark my words – he always comes right before I go to pay it myself. Never fails. … someday I want to be able to pay it as soon as we get the bill out of money in the bank not waiting on the next paycheck.  Hah that sounds so easy, yet seems to be so damn hard to accomplish.

So, off to nap, hopefully my dreams will not be of therapists and bill collectors!

Today is my first day off and the day we scheduled to take the rabbits and goose to our friend’s house. First of all, we had to catch the one rabbit that had been lose for 3 days. It never went very far since it’s bunny friends were in the cages in our front yard. Finally, we cornered it under the porch of the guy who lives behind us. No I don’t know his name even though he lieves less than 20 feet from be bedroom wall, but he was outside working on his truck on cinderblocks (we’re in a white trash neighborhood remember?) and helped us catch it. I apologized and offered to take it from him.  But he said he’d bring it to the cage.  He petted it and nuzzled it and said he used to raise giant angora rabbits… go figure. I’d have never figured it of this scruffy looking redneck. I swear people never cease to amaze me. So he finally put the rabbit in the cage, just as our friend showed up. We loaded our van and his with the cages and sun shelters  for the cages, the food and the scrap wood from the big junk pile. He likes to burn stuff, so he was glad to take the wood.

We followed him waaaaaayyyy out to his place. A nicer, newer looking trailer (the ones with vinyl siding, unlike our tin siding trailer), It also had a huge built on addition on the back with a big deck. Really nice place.  He had a big garden he’d tilled a section of for Fall already.  He was thrilled at the opportunity to have the free rabbit manure in his garden. His wife came out and greeted us and looked over the animals.  She seemed really taken with the goose. He is really friendly. Then our friend asked if we’d like to go to dinner with him and his wife.  I was going to take DH to dinner anyway, but hadn’t decided where. So, we all agreed to meet at the Chinese restaurant.  Had a great time talking about Broadway shows and new TV shows coming up and the Olympics. Conversations we never had with our kids. When it came time to go, nearly 2 hours later, our friend had the check and was adamant that he was paying and it was his Bday present to my DH. I wanted to argue, but decided to let it go and accept graciously. I hated to leave them so quickly (he was still paying the bill), but I wanted to see if we could get to Best Buy before they closed. So, off we went. We got to the store just in time, found the exact gift I’d looked at and decided on online.  I picked it up and showed it to him and said it was my gift to him, but he could change it now if he preferred something else. Fortunately, he loved it.  After a brief scare of not being able to find my wallet (I put it in a side pocket of my purse doh!) I paid for it, and we headed to Barnes and Noble to get him a Green Tea Frappuccino and I got a caramel latte. I found a lot of interesting romance novels I would LOVE to curl up with, but decided not to spend any money on books.  We looked around a little, then headed on back home.

Even though we were coming home to our tin-sided trailer in the old section of the trailer park… it looked pretty nice with the gazebo all cleaned up and no junk sitting anywhere and those cages were gone! Yay!  Even in just the moonlight it looks fabulous. DH didn’t get a chance to mow it today, but that’s ok. He’ll mow it before his vacation is over, that’s for sure. Tomorrow his buddies are all coming over. He’s earned a day of  gaming with the guys.  He doesn’t go back to work til Thursday. Still plenty of time to take care of more things that need to be done. Now that the cages are gone, I’ll take pics tomorrow.